my band stops at sheetz** pretty much every chance we get. it’s the best cheap food readily available on late night drives, and we have to stop for gas a lot. last month, after our show in frederick got shut down by the fire marshall, we were in need of some comfort food before returning to baltimore.
little did we know, this stop would yield so much more than food.
munsonbots, assemble! ***
behold, the transmogrifiers:
even better is the story on the back of the package (which is hard to read in person, and didn’t photograph well):
For centuries war raged on the distant world of Substandrotron, a planet of living machines. The machines society was divided into two diametrically opposed camps: The heroic Virtuabots and the evil Decievocons.
When Ubertron, undisputed leader of the Decievocons gained control of the BigSpark, he used its raw power to destroy Substandrotron, scattering both the Virtuabots and Decievocons across the universe.
In search of a new home, Positivus Prime, leader of the noble Virtuabots located a remote planet called Earth. However, Ultratron and his wicked Decievocon army followed, thus continuing the war here on Earth…
substandrotron. fucking brilliant.
*among other things, sheetz sells breakfast sandwiches called “shmuffins” and “shmiscuits” (i’m actually not so sure they sell “shmiscuits” – we may have made that up too. shmuffins, at least, are real, and way better anyway), and because we are a band of very clever 9 year olds, everything sheetz sells gets an unnecessary “shmuh” sound in it’s name (i.e. shmoda, shmlurpees, etc).
** for those not familiar with sheetz: it’s a 24 hour gas station/convenience store/ restaurant generally found near highways in this part of the country
***our friends in second saturday (shmecond shmaturday, if they were sold at sheetz) coin many phrases. one of the better ones is the use of “munson” as the brand name of generic products and/or total rip-offs (i.e. munson-cola [safeway select soda], munson potter [lemony snicket], etc)
****it should also be noted that at the time of discovery, for reasons now beyond my comprehension, i opted not to purchase this amazing piece of unlicensed crap. i came to regret that decision very quickly, but because i have a much cooler girlfriend than you do, starholler now resides in my living room next to my bootleg famicom (the “IQ super genius 201”, easily my best thrift score ever) and the goomba i made in high school art class.
*****upside down, the (presumably) virtuabots symbol looks like space ghost. or galactus.
gonk droid 